


21st Century Mission

by Hopetabby



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Action/Adventure, All the other tags started with 'T', Gen, Humor, No pairings - Freeform, The arc is a crazy thing, They get sent to the future, They have awful luck, This is why you don't trust Komui's mission briefings, Time Travel, Time period shock
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-05 00:36:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17908709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopetabby/pseuds/Hopetabby
Summary: Our four favorite exorcists get sent on a mission through an unidentified ark door. Things don't go quite as planned... "Pardon me, but why does this calendar read '2019'"No Pairings.





	1. The Briefing

Chapter 1: The Briefing

“Exorcists Allen Walker, Kanda Yuu, Lavi, and Lenalee Lee please make your way to the Supervisor’s Office for a Mission Briefing. You have thirty minutes. I Repeat-”

“You have got to be kidding me!,” Lavi whined, barely dodging a hit from Mugen. Kanda skidded to a stop before rerouting, spinning on his heel in such a way that would make a ballerina green with envy.

“Che, Stupid Rabbit! Stop your complaining!” Lavi ducked as the irate samurai swung again. Suddenly, a flash appeared in the corner of the cafeteria as a dark haired girl snapped up out of her seat.

“Enough!” Lenalee immediately took out her clipboard. “Kanda stop trying to kill Lavi and finish your soba-”

"Tch! I was trying to, but the Stupid Rabbit here-"

“And Lavi stop annoying Kanda-”

“But Yuu is my best friend! How cou-”

“No!” Both the samuri and pirate-wannabe stopped dead in their tracks. “One more word out of you and my clipboard might be embedding itself in both of your heads!” Everyone who was still in the hastily emptying cafeteria sweatdropped at her words, silently begging the two exorcists to stop fighting. You did NOT want to be on the receiving end of Lenalee’s clipboard. Lavi reluctantly took the hint, and even Kanda seemed to rush to sit back down.

“Ne, Ne, you have to admit though, it is frustrating that we have a mission so soon after our last one! We just got back last night!”, Lavi said, waving his hands in the air to prove his point.

“Yeah, but our injuries... are healed, and you know…. the Order’s short-staffed...”, Allen said in between mouthfuls, seated next to where Lenalee had been moments before breaking up the fight. Honestly, he had been enjoying the show Lavi and Kanda had put on- he enjoyed anytime Bakanda was annoyed- not that he would say anything of course. He had already felt Lenalee’s patented ‘Punch of Love’ and wasn't crazy enough to challenge her with a clipboard too. “As far as Central sees it we’re spiffy as a new teapot and ready to keep doing their bidding.“ Lavi laughed and the white haired boy could see him cracking up at the boy’s rarely spoken accent. He sighed. “I’m going to bring my dishes up.”

Lenalee jumped up. “Let me help you with that Allen.” She sent two pointed glares at both Lavi and Kanda before helping Allen gather the unfathomable number of plates, bowls, and silverware.

~o0o~

The four exorcists walked down one of the corridors of the Black Order, eventually stopping in front of the doors to Komui’s office. They all shared a brief glance- well, everyone except Kanda, the grumpy child- and cautiously opened the door.

“Supervisor.” A hand repeatedly shook Komui’s shoulder. “Supervisor.” The shaking became more vigorous and the exorcists could see Komui’s desk shaking from the movement. “GET UP!” The scene in front of them appeared to be nothing new, but at a closer glance something was wrong. 

“Supervisor! Lenalee’s getting married.” 

…Silence?

“What the hell is he dead or something…” Reever muttered under his breath as he continued trying to wake up his superior. “I might not mind…” A collective shiver went through the room at Reever’s murderous intent.

 

“Uhh... is something wrong Reever?” Lenalee asked, scared of what she was seeing. 

“Ohh! Hello! No, nothing’s wrong except that fact that KOMUI ISN’T DOING HIS JOB!!” 

She heard Lavi lean in conspiratorially, before whispering, “Ya know, I’m just gonna take a guess here, but I have a hunch that last part was directed at Mr. Komui.”

A soft slap and a screech of pain, before a distinctly Kanda voice hissed back, “No way, Sherlock.”

Blinking out of her thoughts, she looked up to see a light bulb appear over Reever's head and his eyes turn into stars as he looked in Lenalee’s direction. “Lenalee, dear, would you mind lending me your clipboard?”, he asked, a dangerous hue to his voice. The exorcists sweatdropped, and for lack of more PG words, Lenalee agreed to Reever’s ‘terms’.

 

“Good then…” Satisfied with his answer, he slunk over to Komui. Deciding to give his boss one last mercy before promptly bashing his head in, he whispered something that sounded suspiciously like “Some men are catcalling Lenalee”. Komui sat up as fast as puppy who’d gotten into gallons of straight caffeine. Anonymous witnesses say that Reever could be seen dejectedly handing a clipboard back to an understanding Lenalee.

“NO MY DEAR LENALEE, MY SWEET, INNOCENT, PRECIOUS, AMAZING, AND STRONG-” He was suddenly cut off by a swift kick to the head.

“Brother…”

“Ehem,” he said, straightening up behind his desk, adjusting his hat to cover his new bruise, and looking to the four apostles. “ I assume you are here for your mission briefing.” Despite being a question, it was not said in a questioning manner, so Komui continued with a sigh as Reever passed out the mandatory mission briefings. “Before I continue, I would like to apologize for sending you on a mission so soon after you have gotten home from your last one, and for sending you on such a… dangerous mission as well.”

He looked them each in the eye, curious stares all he got in return, “I’m sure you are aware of the mysterious door on the ark, the unknown one?” 

The exorcists all nodded in response, it was a well known fact in the Order: The door dubbed #‘2018’ was a mysterious door that no one had dared to explore yet. When the door had first been opened by a few of the Order’s scientists, one of them had gone through out of curiosity while the other two stayed behind. The scientist who chose to explore hadn’t been heard from in months, and the remaining two had reported hearing awful roaring and obnoxious grating sounds that were not unlike an Akuma Alert. 

“Central is adamant about solving this mystery, and as such, they have selected you four to do their detective work. That would be entering the ark door. As you already know, Link left this morning for Central. The reason was to work behind the scenes of this mission.”

“Since this is such an unknown, you will have communicators with you at all times, and they will be on throughout the entirety of your mission. Link, Bak and I- and many others- will be listening in on the communicators and talking with you four the whole time. If anything goes wrong we will pull you out immediately, and should things go well you will be expected to stay there until you gather the necessary information. Any questions?”

"Why the hell are those Central snowflakes sending us on this mission? Can't they send some worthless Finder instead of wasting my time?" Lenalee hit him. Komui continued, not at all fazed by the blunt statement.

"It should be obvious why Allen is going, being that he does possess the Musician’s abilities.” Frowning, they nodded. "Lavi, I'm sure you have no questions about why you're going." Bookman did need someone to record what happened. "Kanda, to answer your question, you and Lenalee are going along just in case....." Komui respected Allen too much to say it; Central didn't trust him. 

"What if our communicators go out of range?” Lenalee said, mercifully breaking the tense silence.

“Central seems confident in these new communicators, and everyone in our personal science division has run all of the necessary tests to confirm that they will work all around the world.”

Seeing that Komui was finished Allen spoke up,“When do we leave?”

“Immediately.”

~o0o~

“Are you ready?” Johnny held a weird panel in his arm as he asked this. All of the exorcists agreed- well, everyone except Kanda who just glared. Johnny shivered. 

“Communicators….weapons?” he asked, and at their confirmation, Reever checked something off on a chalkboard.

“Good Luck.”

As they walked through the ark to the mysterious door, they could hear the whirring of systems being checked on the other end of the communicators, and busy scientists and branch heads scurrying about.

“How close are you?” a voice on the other end asked. Link, no doubt.

“We can see the door, two spots. It’s about 10 doors down from us,” Bookman Jr answered. They could swear a low grumble of ‘Don’t call me that’ came from the other end of the line, but if it did, they ignored it.

“We’re here.” They paused, looking at each other once again before turning back to the door.

“You have permission to enter.” And as they did, a booming screech rang through their ears, and the world around them faded to black.

 

A/N: I have the next chapter somewhat typed up, but it may take awhile. ADV classes keep me busy! Questions, Comments, Concerns?

Thanks for reading,

Hopetabby  
Ps. There are not enough of these kinds of fics in the DGM fandom! Mission, pairingless, and future fics are all practically non-existent??!


	2. Who can I kill? What is this place? Where are we? When are we? And why?

“Kid---can----hea---me?”

 

“Are--ou--inj---ed?”

 

That was about all he could make out over his pounding headache. He felt himself being lifted up and then put down onto a hard surface. He could hear people bustling all around him, and he could smell the heavy scent of drugs in the air around him. Blah, Blah, Blah. Blah, Blah, Blah. It continued. Really, the world must be out to get him.

 

When they wouldn’t shut up, he forced his eye open, groaning a bit at the effort.  _ Seriously! What kind of migraine is this? Ugh it’s so bright. _

 

“Gabbie, the redhead’s awake!” As he looked up he saw a blond haired woman hovering above him. He immediately tried to sit up, only to be pushed back down by the blond, and if he hadn’t been so groggy, he just might have yelled his signature ‘Strike!’.   _ Really, I’d like to get  _ her _ number…. I wonder if this ‘Gabbie’ is just as great…. Ow, ow, headache. Rude…. _

 

“Kid! Can you hear me? Do you know where you are?” Jungle noises were his only answer. _ Sob _ . There was no way to make jungle noises attractive. He wanted to sigh at his stupid luck, but he was too afraid that would come across as desperate, ya know?

 

“Brett, load him up. We’ll be taking him to ‘Our Lady’. That’s where the other three are being taken.” The chatter continued, small meaningless things like who would drive, but Lavi had more pressing matters calling his attention. 

 

_ Other three? Allen, Lenalee, and Yu, no doubt… Our Lady? _ Lavi thought about it, then decided getting rid of his headache was waaay more important than whatever  _ that  _ meant. As it was, he found himself fantasizing over the blond girl, falling back into an exhausted sleep. The rocking of the vehicle may have helped. Maybe.  _ Some fancy carriage this is. _

 

~o0o~

 

Allen Walker awoke to what was possibly the most obnoxious pounding his head had ever been privy to. And to top it all off, an incessant beeping echoed in the background.  _ Yay.  _ Whether or not that was the cause of his headache, he had no idea. 

 

He laid there for what felt like hours (but was probably just minutes, because _ life _ ) before a faint rustling of what sounded like a curtain was heard. Instantly stiffening, he forced himself to calm down, straining his ears to listen through the circus going on in his head. Footsteps slowly got closer, stopping for a second, and then repeating the process twice before they finally reached him. Seconds passed, fear welling up inside of him, the unknown thing slowly getting closer....

 

“Excuse me, ma'am?” Allen swore at these words he almost peed himself. 

 

“Hmm.. Ohh!”, the new voice, a woman’s, came from right next to him, leaving him to assume that she was the person who had previously entered the room. “I’m sorry, you scared me. Is there something I can help you with Mr..?”

 

“Blau. Detective Jake Blau and my associate Margo Thotch with the NY Police Department.”

Detective? Why were there detectives here? Where was here? His friends?

 

“We’re looking for their doctor, Dr. Richie. The lady at the front desk said his attending would know? Given the circumstances we would like to see him as soon as possible. We of course have questions about their conditions…. ”, a new voice, presumed to be Margo spoke up. With that, the detectives and the woman from before- the attending, maybe- left the room. 

 

Five minutes later found Allen cautiously opening his eyes, squinting over his pounding headache, and sitting up to check that his weary limbs still worked. The IV in his arm stung, but that seemed to be the only thing wrong. His eyes followed the IV line up to the bag.  _ Saline?  _ A quick look past the IV bag and he spotted Lavi in the next bed, followed by Kanda and Lenalee in the other two beds. 

 

He took it the mission didn’t go well. Huh.

 

“What the…..” He jumped at the grumbling one bed over. The grumpy samurai sat up, shaking with either rage or pain; Allen couldn’t tell. It was a few minutes- _ Heh Heh. Kanda’s so slow-  _ till Kanda noticed him. 

 

“Moyashi” He stopped to sigh, rather dramatically.  _ Don’t sigh at me, Bakanda! “ _ What stupid reason do you have for staring at me.” A deadpan, as expected of Bakanda. 

 

“Checking to make sure you really are a man,  _ ponytail. _ It’s not going in your favor.”

 

“Why you-” Footsteps right outside the curtain made them both freeze. Seconds later they were rapidly receding, but the mood had already dissipated. Well kind of. It certainly didn’t stop them from angrily whispering.

 

“Moyashi, where are we?”, Kanda spat. He wasn’t very good at whispering.

 

“( _ Don’t call me that!)  _ I don’t know! The infirmary or something. And be quieter!” A pause. A glare. A whispered gasp. “How dare you look at me as if it’s my fault!”

“Idiot! This isn’t the Order infirmary! That stupid ark of yours must have spat us up somewhere!” 

 

They might have continued if it wasn’t for two synchronized groans from the other two beds.

 

“Ugh.”

 

“You trying to kill me, Panda?”, a groggy voice said.

 

“Glad you decided to join us.” At this their heads snapped up. 

 

“Allen? Kanda? What happened?” It took Allen everything not to laugh at Lenalee's confused expression. He averted his eyes to Lavi. Lavi held an almost identical expression. He snorted and buried his face in his hands, continuing to snicker.

 

“Um… Allen? You okay, buddy?”

“Tch. Idiot.”

 

Finding that Allen wasn’t going to answer their questions, they both turned their heads to Kanda. In perfect sync.  _ Creepy!  _

 

_ ~ _ o0o~

 

“So I’m not the only one?” They all took a few moments to consider before a collective sigh ran through the group. 

 

“No. You’re not," Lenalee finally spoke up, her hands turning into tight fists on her criss-crossed legs. The three boys sat next to her, forming a circle on Lavi’s bed. They had decided to figure out what they knew and what they didn’t. So far there was virtually nothing in the ‘knew’ category. It was not going well.

 

“Okay, Recap. So we get briefed on the mission, we get to the ark, walk through the door, and then, to quote Moyashi-chan here...”, the boy in question blushed as the redhead gestured to him. “...‘A big booming screech rang through the air and the world around me faded to black’,” He ran a hand through his hair, almost looking peaceful. “God, that sounds like something the fanatics preach on the streets, but that’s  _ exactly _ what I remember.” Lavi paused, a grin breaking out on his face. “What were we, teleported to the future?”  They all laughed, thankful for the light turn the conversation had taken.

 

Even Kanda, relatively quiet until then, had a small smirk stretching across his face. “Stupider things have happened.”

Clearing their throats, the conversation continued. “Okay, so since we have no idea where we are, any theories?” Both Lenalee and Kanda leaned in to brainstorm with the pale teen, but Lavi had something weighing on his mind. Something about that question seemed to spark a memory in the redhead’s mind.

 

_ I know there was something about hot chicks named Gabbie in there…. _

 

“AHA!” The chatter filling the rest of the bed stopped as three confused teens turned to face the boy.

 

“Aha…?”, the girl opened her mouth once more to continue, but was quickly interrupted. 

 

“So, I kinda sorta woke up but there were these really cute chicks, actually there was only one I guess and then they were talking about the others and how they were taking us somewhere and there was a carriage but I didn’t hear horses which is really suspicious if you ask me-”

 

“Habla Inglés.” [Translation: Speak English.]

 

“Oh right. I remember waking up before this place. I was on this really hard surface and everything smelled like drugs. I guess that’s not important. Anyway, there were two ladies there when I woke up and they were talking about taking me and the ‘others’ to ‘Our Lady’. And then they loaded me into some kind of carriage and I blacked out again.

.

.

.

“IDIOT!” 

 

“WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THAT BEFORE!?"

 

“BAKA USAGI!”

 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooo nelly! What's going to happen next? :p


	3. A Delightful Meeting

**_Chapter 3: A Delightful Meeting_ **

Jake Blau was not having a good day. It had started off as a normal day, sure, but the second he walked into the station everything went downhill. Margo had practically burst through his office door, a new job. It involved children. Any detectives’ job that involved children consistently made his nights that much harder to sleep through. Sighing, he pulled on his coat, happily grabbed a donut from the employee lounge, and made haste to their shared car.

 

As he drove to the scene, Margo briefed him. “According to the police who arrived on the scene, Theresa Yun, 32, left her house to go for a run. She found 4 teenage-looking kids passed out in a heap on her lawn.”

 

“Theresa? Your sister?”

 

“Yup. Somehow Terri got herself involved in this situation…..” They both snorted. From what little interaction Jake had had with the woman, he had gotten the idea that she wasn’t very bright.

 

“Also, a heap?” He looked at his partner through the side of his eye, gaging her reaction to the odd choice of words. She chuckled, catching the hidden statement in his question.

 

“Hey, her words not mine.”

 

“Christ, what are kids these days getting up to…” He trailed off. “Hey, wait where is this place again?”

 

“About that…..”

 

“You don’t know where your own sister lives?!”

 

“We normally go out….”

 

Three wrong turns, fourteen red lights, one sidestreet, and one attempt to throw Siri into traffic, they had finally, finally, for a given definition of “successfully”, arrived at 125 Center Street. The duo gaped as they looked at the swan-shaped hedges in the front lawn that decorated the edges of the path behind the huge gate protecting the house. They took slow steps as they entered, so as to not disturb anything, quickly breaking into a quicker pace as they ogled the columns, roses, and-  _ Holy Crap is that a waterfall?! _

 

A throat cleared behind them, doing nothing to break them out of their glory-induced stupor. “Ahm. Detectives?” Finally turning around, they acknowledged the speaker, a young blond haired male. The uniform and crest on his chest suggested he was a cop, his attentive stance only aiding that impression. Noticing he had their attention, he hurried to continue. “Sir, Ma'am, Officer Kamp. I have the witness, Mrs. Theresa Yun, waiting with my associate inside.” Officer Kamp lead the way, gesturing for them to follow as he prattled on.

 

“Her husband is away on a business trip, leaving Mrs. Yun home alone.” Swinging the ginormous front doors open, they continued on to a large sitting room. The officer stopped a few feet before the sitting room, motioning for his associate to come to his side. “Any questions?”

 

Jake opened his mouth to speak, but Margo beat him to the punch. “The teenagers mentioned in the briefing, where are they?”  _ When can we question them? _

 

“Paramedics took them to Our Lady, unconscious, to check for any internal injuries. One of them woke up briefly, a tall ginger kid, but I doubt you’ll be questioning them for a while.” With that and a nod, he turned on his heel, associate in step, and left the detectives to question their witness.

 

~o0o~

 

“-and then I found the four of them in a heap in my yard!” The detectives sweatdropped at her words, wondering how she could say that with a straight face.

“Um, ma’am, err Theresa? Could you be more specific about what happened?” Jake finally collected himself. He was an esteemed detective after all!

 

“Of course! Why didn’t you ask already! And don't call me ma’am (‘I’m not that old!’) or Theresa! Terri is just fine.” She wagged her finger at them, a serious expression on her face despite her teasing manner. 

 

“I had just talked to my gardener, Wade, about getting some ducks- he’s a very knowledgeable man you know- but he had to leave, children to take care of, chickens to feed, and so he left through the front door and I made myself some fried eggs and a smoothie.”

 

“And then you went out.. and found them in ‘a heap’ in your yard? They weren’t there when Wade went out? How can we contact him?” As Margo and her sister went back and forth, Jake took a moment to compare the two. He had met Theresa before of course, but never long enough to think about her appearance. 

 

Theresa- with long black hair, green eyes, and a rather tall and fit figure- looked almost nothing like Margo. There were obvious similarities of course, in their cheekbone and eye shapes, but aside from that? Margo had blue eyes, was relatively short, and had light brown hair which would go to her shoulders if worn down. He ran a hand through his own brown hair, brown eyes becoming once more focused on the conversation.

 

“You can’t seriously be suspecting me or Wade! I walked him out, and there certainly weren’t any children on my lawn then! And you can’t think that I somehow put them there!”

 

He decided to step in, ”Of course not, we’re just trying to get the full story. Margo mentioned contacting the gardener, Wade, earlier? We will need to fact check with him for official records.”

 

Forty minutes later had the detectives bidding their farewells, to both Theresa and the mansion, the gardener’s address in hand, along with two of Theresa’s ‘Stay Fit’ smoothies that made them both gag. When the neighbors and the gardener gave them no new information, they gave in to their stomachs and took a break, stopping at their regular little cafe, just a few blocks away from Our Lady Hospital.

 

The little pink bell above the door jingled as they walked into the air-conditioned cafe, relishing in the relief it brought from the hot air outside. While their car did have air-conditioning, helpful for the hours they always seemed to spend stuck in New York traffic, they had walked a few blocks to the cafe due to parking problems. Jake snagged their normal booth by the window while Margo ordered them some iced coffee and sandwiches. As they munched, the investigation became the topic of their conversation.

 

“I can’t believe no one saw those kids get there!” She angrily sipped her coffee, glaring at her reflection in the window. If people outside shivered, it definitely wasn't because of the temperature.

 

“Well, I mean, considering the ginormous swan bushes filling the yard…”

 

“This isn’t the time for jokes!” The smirk on her face betrayed her words. He smirked back, earning a smile. “Seriously though. It seems like our only bet is to question them.” A pause as she considered that. She sighed. “By the way that officer earlier was saying it though, it doesn’t sound like that’ll be any time soon.” 

 

“Never know till you try.”

 

They tipped the waitress and excused themselves, finding their car, cranking the a/c up, and making the trek to Our Lady Hospital. The clock in the waiting room read 3:00 p.m.  _ That late already?  _ After talking to the secretary at the front desk, they were finally able to make their way to see the victims. Arriving at the room, they found someone already there.

 

“Excuse me, ma'am?” From her uniform she seemed to be a nurse, not a doctor. That came as a slight disappointment, but it wasn’t as if she couldn’t lead them to the doctor.

 

“Hmm? Ohh!” The woman fiddled her hands in front of her, turning around to face them. “I’m sorry, you scared me. Is there something I can help you with Mr..?”

 

“Blau. Detective Jake Blau and my associate Margo Thotch with the NYPD.”

 

Done examining the odd looking teens that took up the room’s full space, Margo joined in, “We’re looking for their doctor, Dr. Richie. The lady at the front desk said his attending would know? Given the circumstances we would like to see him as soon as possible. We of course have questions about their conditions.”

 

“Of course! Right this way, he’s in the lounge going over their files now. I’m actually his attending.”

 

The attending opened the door to the lounge, collected the doctor, and led the way to a small conference room where they could discuss the patients. She then excused herself, leaving the detectives and doctor alone. “I wish I could stay, but we’re short staffed today and I offered to help at the front desk.” 

 

The three watched her leave, an awkward silence filling the room before the doctor introduced himself. “Agny Richie, nice to meet you.” A marginal grey showed at his temples and the slight wrinkles in his face crinkled as he gave a polite smile.

 

~o0o~

 

“Their vitals are normal, they aren’t injured except for the occasional bruise or scratch.” At the sharp look thrown his way, he clarified, “It’s not consistent with abuse. However the scars marring their bodies are very unusual.”

 

“Scars?” Metaphorically sitting up and taking notice they fixed a rapt attention on the doctor. 

 

“Many. On all of them except for one boy, he doesn’t have even a small mark. Of course, I’m only going by what the nurses who changed them into gowns said; we won't have consent to fully examine them until they wake up. Not to mention the huge scar on the youngest boy’s face! He can’t be more than 13, 14, yet that scar looks old and violent.”

 

The duo cast a horrified look at him. It wasn’t unusual for violence in their cases, it was an odd day if violence wasn’t present, but how the doctor explained it made them both uneasy.

 

“That’s all I have on their conditions, but there is something else that might help you.” He turned, walking over to a wall-mounted phone and calling for something. That something arrived in multiple zip bags stuffed with clothes.

 

“These are the clothes they were wearing. As you can see, there are what look like uniform jackets, combat boots, and some really old style shirts, pants, and a skirt.” He handed them a bag that contained an old-fashioned button up shirt, another with a deep red bowtie, and yet another with a small, white, pristine pair of men’s leather gloves. “Then there were some extra items.” He handed a bag with a eyepatch in it. “We checked his eye, and there was no injury or physical reason to wear this.” 

 

A sharp glare caught Margo’s eye and she walked over to find a bag with a mallet in it. The bag next to it held what looked to be a thigh strap for the weapon. “What’s up with this?”

 

The doctor stopped his rant, only to continue it again when he saw what she was pointing to. “And those!” On his way over to her, he grabbed a different bag, one filled with a sheathed sword.  _ What the hell is that a sword?!  _ “We found two of them carrying these vintage looking weapons. I don’t how they got them, but we know for a fact that they are real. We had forensics look into these weapons, but they didn’t find anything. It doesn’t help that there is no model number on them.” He let that sentence hang for a moment before Jake caught on.

 

“You think that the weapons are somehow illegally made.”

 

“I try not to accuse my patients of things, but I can’t think of any other reason why the model numbers and even logos would be missing.” The next several minutes were spent examining the items, everything from uniforms to pocket junk like business cards inscribed with the ominous name of ‘Black Order’, whatever that was. They would have to get someone on that as soon as possible.

 

“Thank you for all your help, Doc.”

 

They walked through the hospital, headed for the waiting room, when they passed their victims’ room. The plan was to wait for the teens to awaken, but from the sound of chatter in the room, they assumed that plan was bunk. Margo quickly peaked her head around the curtain, sliding the curtain a crack so Jake could do the same. Sure enough, crowded on one bed, there were their John and Jane Does. 

 

The hushed conversation paused a moment as one boy, with fiery red hair, was singled out. Suddenly, the bed erupted in barely whispered shouts.

 

“IDIOT!” 

 

“WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THAT BEFORE!”

 

“BAKA USAGI!”

 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

The youngest boy, whom the doctor had described earlier, reached out to attempt to strangle the redhead. The detectives were about to rush in, but the girl next to him was quick to slap his hands down. 

 

“Stupid idiot!” She whispered her earlier statement, and the attention was turned to her. “That would’ve been nice to know earlier!” She smacked him lightly on the head and continued. “‘Our Lady’? I’ve never heard of it. It’s in English so that narrows the location down quite a bit...”

 

Jake smirked.  _ Time to make our grand entrance.  _ “We might be willing to help you with that.” Margo followed his lead, and they both dramatically stepped into the room, shutting the curtain behind them.

 

The red head, apparently very surprised at their presence, let loose a girlish squeal, followed by a, “Holy!-” His curse was cut short as he was abruptly shoved off the bed by a tall black haired kid.

 

“Che.”

  
  
_ A/N: _ _   
_ _   
_ _ I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Today we get the perspective of the detectives investigating the exorcists. The other chapters have been about 1,420 words each. Today's chapter is 2,101 words! ;) Please know that I don't include Author's Notes in that total,  I only include content. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ I NOTICED THAT NO DGM FUTURE STORY (that I've found at least)  BRINGS UP THE CONCEPT OF CLOTHING (and the difference of fashion between the 19th and 21st Century) That will be addressed here. _ __   



	4. These Weird 21st Century Things!

**Chapter 4: Say What Now**

 

“We might be willing to help you with that.” A tall man stepped into the room along with a shorter woman. The badly hidden smirk on the man’s face was enough to make her wary of both him and his partner.

 

“Holy!-” Kanda shoving Lavi to the floor barely registered in Lenalee's mind. She was too busy sizing up the strange duo. They could definitely beat them, especially four vs two. That was, unless they were super powerful. Or in league with the Earl.

 

“Che.” She felt Allen tap her knee twice; letting her know he was ready to go. Kanda would be quick to back them up, and even if Lavi acted foolish, she knew he would be up in an instant. The bed creaked and sagged next to her as Allen moved into a more defensive position. Still sitting-  _ he must not think they are a huge threat _ \- but threatening enough to get the strangers to take a step back. She quickly followed suit, as did Kanda, and she noticed Lavi tense from his spot on the floor. 

 

“Relax, we won’t hurt you. We just have some questions.” The tension in the air was tangible. In front of her she noticed Allen’s shoulders slack slightly and his head tilt in what she knew to be a disarming smile. When he spoke next, she was only somewhat surprised at how even his voice was. 

 

“Questions?” She could picture Allen’s eyes dilating to display an innocent look. “We’d be happy to help.” The woman’s eyes widened and the tall man’s smile became more genuine. 

 

“We appreciate it.” The woman spoke now, in a comforting tone that no one in the room fell for. “I’m Margo Thotch.”

 

“And I’m Jake Blau. We’re from the NYPD.” Allen’s shoulders tensed once more before resuming their act.  _ He must know something. _ “We will have to take you to the station to chat, so we will go ahead and get discharge papers as soon as possible. The doctor says you are all healthy by the way…..In the meantime would you like something to munch on?”

 

“You’re going to interrogate us but you dare ask if we want  _ snacks. _ ” Lenalee was quick to send Kanda  _ a look _ and make amends before anyone could become too offended.  _ Darn you Kanda! _

 

“I’m sorry about him; he hasn’t been feeling well….Some munchies would be great.” She gave them her sweetest smile and didn’t miss the exact moment when they believed it. She had a feeling that she’d be using this stupid excuse for a long while. 

 

“Umm yeah so what kind of munchies?” Allen looked at the detectives sheepishly, well into his innocent act.  _ He just wants to know how many servings he can have.  _ Lavi slowly stretched himself up and onto the bed lazily. 

 

“Moy-Moy has a point.” (“ _ Moy-Moy?!”)  _ “What’s on the menu?” As he said this he eyed Margo up and down with a flirty smirk. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to notice as she was too busy studying Kanda. Her partner did though. Lavi shivered as the detective dragged a finger across his throat with an all too amused grin that still promised pain.

 

Margo jumped back into the conversation, “From what I know they are serving spaghetti in the cafeteria today. Vending machine stuff and coffee, tea, water, soda to drink.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry it’s not very nutritious.” 

 

Lavi perked back up to ask the same question that Lenalee had. “What’s a vending machine? The bookman in his eyes was shining as he asked this, the gears in his mind starting to whir. 

 

“Excuse me?” The detectives looked at him shocked, moving their gazes to the rest of them. Then they seemed to shake their heads to mark it off as just another weird thing. “It’s that thing that dispenses food. You put money in, it goes ‘whir whir’ and then throws your chips at you? Sound familiar?” She was getting suspicious.

 

They were saved by the bell, not literally, as a nurse came in. “Detectives! I see you’ve met the patients. We could see on the monitors that their heart waves had changed so I came to see if they were awake.” 

 

“Ahh, yeah. We were walking past and happened to hear them talking. Actually, we were going to ask for discharge papers.” Margo looked up at her, smiling as if they were familiar. The nurse seemed to notice her blunder and turned to face them.

 

“I’m Dr. Richie’s- your doctor’s- attending. You can call me Lindsey.” Lindsey seemed, Lenalee decided, like a nice person. She smiled back, laughing softly under her breath.

 

“Nice to meet you, Lindsey.” Lenalee ducked her head shortly to resemble a bow, prompting a giggle. The giggle cut off shortly after, a look of realization, surprize, shock and worry crossing Lindsey’s face all at once as she gazed at the teens’ arms. She rushed over grabbing Lenalee’s arm in a grip that reflected her haste. Reflexes kicked in as Lenalee fiercely yanked her arm back.

 

Allen, Lavi, and Kanda all bristled, quick to react with the same idea. “What do you think you're doing (woman)!” The attending looked remorseful at her harsh grip in a way that suggested she wasn't sorry about her actions.

 

“That’s what I’m wondering. Why are your IVs out?” Three of them looked at her sheepishly, but Kanda seemed to be ready to erupt. It didn’t surprise his comrades when he finally did. 

 

“As if we would need something like that! We’re not glass!” The adults in the room looked at him, astounded at his audacity to lash out so frequently. “Tch! Morons!” 

 

“He means that we’re fine, really, feeling great.” Lenalee watched Allen calm the room down, even as she strained to notice the edge to his voice that suggested he wanted to lash out as well. Lavi must have noticed too because he jumped in.

 

“Yeah, what Allen said.” He stood up and hopped around, waving his arms every which way, and transitioning into an Irish jig. “Feeling great!”

 

Lindsey still seemed pretty worried, so the detectives- practically radiating the fact that they really didn’t want to be there- quickly mended the situation, talking about how the doctor had said their vitals were great. Blah blah blah. It worked; soon after Lindsey was on her way to file the discharge papers, having no idea what had just happened.

 

~0o0~

 

As the exorcists were being released from the hospital, the detectives called some officers to come escort the teens to the station for questioning. Finally they were given their normal clothes back (though their coats and weapons were taken, much to their displeasure). It had been a quick decision to get them something to eat from the police station vending machines to save the hassle of getting it at the hospital. Especially after all the Kanda related incidents. Allen had sulked, but a group vote had overridden his hungry stomach’s pleading. So, the group had been lead down through the hospital, and out into a ‘parking lot’ before being shoved in the back of a ‘car’ with bars separating them and the driver’s seat.

 

Kanda did not appreciate the handcuffs biting into his skin. 

 

“Oh my!,” The stupid rabbit ogled the female officer as she snapped a pair of ‘cuffs on him too. “Into this sorta thing are we?” He waggled his eyebrows before she shoved him into the car next to Kanda. 

 

Kanda stiffened as the dopey bunny looked to him. “Yu~~ Did you see that detective lady- Margo- checking you out~?” Lavi chuckled before turning to Allen. Wait, Allen? “Oh Moyashi, you’ve decided to join us!” The rabbit turned back to Kanda, looking like he knew a secret no one else in the world did. “We get to teach Shortstack how to flirt with the ladies!”

 

“Shut your trap Idiot Lavi! Now really isn’t the time!”

 

“Oh so Moyashi still wants us to teach him, just another time?” Lavi nuzzled Allen’s cheek with the top of his head, getting far too close for the beansprout’s comfort. A truly  _ annoying _ situation to be in. Kanda smirked.

 

“I know perfectly well how to flirt! You-”

 

“-Handsome older brother who teaches his younger and very short brother how to score a lady? I’m glad you think so, Shortstack.” Lavi twisted in his seat to pat the moyashi on the head with his cuffed hands. As Allen growled, Lavi perked up suddenly. “Lenalady!” The other two turned their heads and sure enough, there was Lenalee being led into a different police ‘car’. 

 

She caught their gaze and smiled nervously, but reassuringly. The boys smiled back until she was situated and the door was closed before Allen turned back to them saying, “Why isn’t she with us?” The worry in his voice was evident. Kanda and Lavi stared at him a moment.

 

Kanda scoffed and leveled an ‘are you stupid’ glare at the beansprout. “Does it look like there’s room with us?” The fight would have escalated, with Lavi caught in the middle of the two beasts, but thankfully for the rabbit, at that moment an officer sat down in the front of the car. They turned to him expectantly. 

 

“Um.” He looked like a deer in headlights at their blank stares.  _ Must be a newbie _ , Kanda thought. “We’re going to head to the station now.” He spared a glance at their handcuffs and gave them a sheepish look. “Sorry about those.” He turned around in his seat, taking out a set of keys. “Protocol.” He reached forward to start the car, but the rabbit interrupted. 

 

“Okay so where’s the carriage? What’s this metal….thing-y?” The young officer froze, and then chuckled.

 

“Are you serious? Don’t play with me now.” He reached forward once more.

 

“I’m serious, what is this?” Lavi insisted. The cop seemed unnerved at the boy’s persistent tone, but opted to ignore him. No one is this day and age could not know what a car was, right? He started the car, and began to pull it out of the parking spot.

 

“Uaah!” Lavi and Allen squeaked, and Kanda raised his eyebrows. The officer was doe eyed all the way to the station as the teenagers in the back squealed and huddled together for dear life.

 

“Get me out of this death trap!”

 

“Just look at me now, Panda!”

 

“Cheeeee!”

 

_ A/N:  _

 

Now we're finally caught up to where the story is on FF! Chapter 5 is coming soon! Feel free to comment any ideas for what you think the exorcists should experience in the future!

 

**_*The timeframe of DGM is roughly anywhere from 1850-1890 in canon. The first vending machine, which sold postcards, went into business in 1880. I thought it plausible that they would be confused, especially as how it relates to food._ **


End file.
